These Words Float On...

To Be Determined

#12 - To My Family

I’ve lost hope and I don’t want to live anymore.
Every day is an infinite chore and secretly I wish to
get diagnosed with a terminal illness
or valiantly die while saving someone else’s life
or at the very least, obtain a significant amount of wealth
so that I can do nothing
and be nothing.
I wish to leave this world with you thinking I’m happy,
because I couldn’t bear it any other way.
Maybe I should just feign insanity,
(I’m almost there, anyways),
check myself into an asylum,
then sleep all day.

For now though, I’m not going to kill myself.
You guys are the reason I still go on–
I go on with my work even though I’m not
passionate about it anymore;
I go on with my lies even though I can’t
tell the truth from them;
I go on with pretending to be happy
even when I hate everyone’s guts and
could use someone as a punching bag.

This is just a phase most likely, but,
five years is a long time waking up every morning
with death in my eyes.
You’ve given me everything I could possibly ask for,
and were there when I needed you most.
Some people make happiness look as easy as breathing,
but for me, it’s as easy as staying alive.
I know I can be better,
I’m just not sure how.
I’m afraid of the world, and from what I can tell:
the world is afraid of me.

Please forgive me if I ever end my life rashly.
I will always love you, and I hope that one day
I can repay you, if even just the littlest bit.


#11 - More Guns, Less Crime?

It’s hilarious
and sad how much everyone
hates everyone else.
The last thing I’d ever do
is to give them all some guns.

#10 - A Thing I Do Not ‘Like’

Please add me as a friend,
then never talk to me again.

Clicking a button from time to time
will surely sustain our friendship!

#9 - New Dish

Ring the meat wagon
this dish is full of meat.
She’s a little goofy;
don’t let her pull one over on you.
Her puss is tender
and I can’t stop from being
dizzy with a dame.

#8 - The Greatest Lie Never Told

You gave so much to me
What did I ever give to you?
I don’t know where I would be
In the dirt, beneath the grass and dew
And yet, I do not ever feel free
This fact, I will hide from you
I hope you have a happy ending
While my story is trending

#7 - Wait For Me

He sits down.
The temporary building he’s in starts shaking.
The seat beside him is empty.
The building stops shaking.
He hears a beep and something sliding.
The shaking begins again.
Will anyone ever sit beside him?

#6 - She Left Me

She left me quite a few days ago,
so many in fact that I’ve lost count how many.
It’s funny how her presence, weightless– now gone,
causes me to drag my feet everywhere I go,
or bury my eyes in the ground;
Now all I can do is consume,
and rather than desire food, I desire experience
in any form.
l could choose to die now that she’s gone, but,
I feel that would betray her memory and of those
around me, for they have never known me without her.
She left me quite a few days ago,
so many in fact that I’ve lost count how many.
She goes by many names I suppose,
but I knew her as Hope.

#5 - Wall Shadows

In bed,
there are often
creatures that live on the
wall and threaten me by growing
larger

#4 - Cut It Off

He could never fully explain it.
His mind could become so twisted in a sexy flash,
a spring becoming loaded for action.
"It is quite a preposterous appendage," he muttered to himself.
I would cut it off if it wouldn’t hurt me.
It would hurt him. And he would never
cut it off.

#3 - Lift Up The Sea

Lift up the sea like a blanket and
let the water molecules soak your skin, or,
wear it as glasses and know that everything
is always
distorted, dark and speckly.
Feel Life’s flotsam flounder frivolously by,
moments barely important enough
for neural pathways.
The water is my lifesaver,
aye, aye, haul away these ropes–
they bind me so strongly.
Let me run without fibers on my back
into the water,
never touching ground, but
always seeing it.